Speaking Test went terrible !

Few weeks ago, i had my first speaking test with my fellow. Since the invigilator/examiner is a substitute for my original lecturer,i felt a little cocky when speaking infront of her.Well,i don't know her well and yet i don't know how she will give marks. After the topic was given,i was relieved that the topic was easy enough for me to extract elaborations from the points. So when the test started, Fais volunteered to introduce our group to the examiner.I guess he'll get extra points there for making an introduction.

Everybody started giving points and asking for questions. Easy enough, it all went well untill my other friends didn't elaborate the point. He simply read his point and passed it to other friends. I had to covers his point and mine which makes me suffocate and hard to differentiate between my points and his. I started to feel panicked.Are you trying to sabotage me?

 

Then when it's over. I am worried about the marks. How much will i get? Did i do well? I even asked for other group's topic. They said that it went well and bla bla bla.. It makes me nervous. Damn it !! I shouldn't team up with you. I shouldn't trusted you.

Last week, my lecturer announced the results. I got 11.5 over 20. That is a TERRIBLE RESULT FOR ME !!! Omg, i can't believe it. Other people gets much better result than me. That time i felt so small. I thought about building a time machine so that i can go back and fix what mistakes i've made earlier. I went crazy for a while. Like seriously.

 

If you guys think that i am overreacted, you are wrong.I took English Language very seriously.I like English, because when i speak in English, it makes me feel different from usual. For the first time in my life, i felt appreciated when i can speak freely with my lecturers without getting weird and all that negative stuffs. For the first time in my life, i can teach my friends about basic english without them looking weird at me.

 

For real, i quite disappointed with my results. I felt down. I want a redo. I want to prove to my dad that i am capable of mastering English language. But now, it's all finished.There is nothing i can do. Overall, i got 40.0 marks in all English tests which Listening & Writing Test included. Well, pray and wish me a very good luck for my upcoming final examinations. I am really gonna need those wishes :)